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Post by Yew on Aug 22, 2010 5:05:25 GMT -5
Here is the first draft of my sad song, im happy with the rhythm guitar, hut it needs a bridge, and the first part of the solo im happy with tinyurl.com/2us62r7 |
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Post by Yew on Aug 22, 2010 5:06:53 GMT -5
Any feedback or tips are appreciated, and if anyones bored and want to put a drumbeat to it, feel free
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Post by D2o on Aug 22, 2010 8:29:03 GMT -5
Hi yew, Thanks for putting this out there for us to listen to! Very cool. I had a listen, and was reminded of how difficult it is to give feedback when I don't know what the song is sort of "about". I don't get a vision of bombing down the road, or lying on the beach or anything when I listen to this, so I (and, I suspect, we) may need a few hints about what you're trying to do and where you're going with it. Can you share that with us? What made you write this? Is it really a sad song, or are you being self deprecating (if it's the latter, you needn't be  ? Most importantly, what goes through your head when you listen to the posted recording? Thanks again - cool of you to trust us like this. D2o |
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Post by cynical1 on Aug 22, 2010 12:54:55 GMT -5
Sorry, been working on my truck and taking care of horses...both can eat up a tremendous amount of free time...but it's easier to swear at the truck...
It has a sort of Neil Young vibe to it.
Just out of curiosity, how did you envision the bass and drum under this? Thinking of tossing in any additional instruments? Are there lyrics to this yet?
Just a few questions...
I like where it's going, just curious how you saw the rest of it moving along...
Happy Trails
Cynical One
EDIT: Oh yeah, by the way...what are the changes?
EDIT2: Ok, I've listened to this about 10 times and would find it easier to lay a drum track under this with the lead and rhythm on a separate track. Is that a possibility?
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Post by Yew on Aug 23, 2010 4:23:31 GMT -5
Im kinda heading for that vibe,
If you want me to upload just a a rhythm track. and just a bass track. i can do that easily
my idea for the drums is jsut somthing simple and slow Like bass, hat, snare, (then rest where the snare is let ring, to bring it to 4/4)
And for vocals I have some lyrics, but Im not happy with them yet
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Post by cynical1 on Aug 23, 2010 6:52:34 GMT -5
my idea for the drums is just something simple and slow Like bass, hat, snare... OK, sounds doable Need more coffee...you lost me there... If you have a separate tracks for bass and the two guitars that does make life easier to drop in drum. See "Surf Jam" for example... Happy Trails |
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Post by Yew on Aug 23, 2010 14:35:17 GMT -5
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Post by ijustwannastrat on Aug 23, 2010 17:55:30 GMT -5
Your link seems to bring me to the homepage....  I believe I heard the track once or twice, and I had a hard time following the rhythm. My advice there, layer in some very lush chorus/delay/reverb to the correct amounts. I'm thinking Purple Rain type of tone. As for the lead, it seemed like the Energizer Bunny at times: It kept going, and going. My suggestion for the lead is to pause. Nobody knows the power of silence as much as a Jazz musician. Also, rephrase, it IS acceptable. As in, play the same phrase 5 times, just with slight differences in flavor each time. Sorry if I seemed negative! I'm just giving the advice that I was given by musicians who are tenfold better than I. |
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Post by cynical1 on Aug 23, 2010 17:58:29 GMT -5
Sorry cynical, esnips died on me... Well, it appears Soundclick is coughing up blood too...the link doesn't fire to your song, just the default player URL. I'll stay posted for tomorrow. HTC1 |
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Post by Yew on Aug 24, 2010 5:53:53 GMT -5
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Post by D2o on Aug 24, 2010 8:40:33 GMT -5
ijws, I had another listen after reading what you wrote, and have to give you kudos for your observations, for putting them fairly eloquently into words, and for having the guts to share them with yew. D2o P.S. ditto to you, yew ... you seem to have received what could be taken as criticism as "criticism" (the constructive kind).  |
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Post by Yew on Aug 24, 2010 12:21:01 GMT -5
Updated it on soundclick, got an inproved solo, im not 100% on it yet, but i like it much more...
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Post by ijustwannastrat on Aug 24, 2010 15:31:51 GMT -5
I hate to feel like I'm micro-managing, but I'm not trying to!
I really liked your phrasing on the solo with that one.
0.51 to 1.07 seemed really spot on. You might want to listen to your rhythm a little more just to get your downbeats and upbeats DEAD on.
I liked how you held that note until 0.56, and started your next phrase at the same time that the rhythm came back from a short pause.
at 1.10 to ~1.16, I feel like that is an opportunistic time to rip it up a bit more, seeing as;
1) The rhythm drops out a bit,
2) It is near the end of the solo. Trust me, the beginning and ending of the solo are the MOST important part.
I liked that lick from about 1.17 to 1.20, somewhat melodic, and sing-able.
AHHH!! You cut out the guitar TOO soon! I would personally like a little decay on a solo of that flavor.
Also, what are you using to record this? If you could add a little drum-beat for while you record, it's more natural than playing with a click track. If you are doing neither, at a minimum I would suggest a click track/metronome with headphones.
As for the rhythm, I would say that once you get into the "hard rock riffin' " at 0.52, you should keep it up until the end of the solo. It's actually pretty tasty, and doing it so briefly is almost teasing us.
Another idea would be to build up to the solo/solo end. An idea of what I'm talking about is like the "chug chug chug chug"ing of the A5 (Am5) right before the solo in "Sweet Child Of Mine." I'm not saying copy them, but you could possibly "Chug Chug Chug" before the end of the solo, going back into the slow part (or possibly a third movement?)
I think I should stop for now. Once again, I'm not trying to rain on your parade, NOR am I trying to take your originality away from it. I am only hoping to share advice and tips that I have been given myself.
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Post by Yew on Aug 24, 2010 16:18:17 GMT -5
Yeah, Im planning on keeping the harder riff going all the way through the solo, but i forgot when i was recording it *facepalm*
there is also a bit of input lag that makes it seem not as sweet as it could be. Im going to work on the 110-116 bit of the solo, its not bad, but it can be better
As for a click track, i wasnt using anything, however I have a nice drum emulator that i might try using
With regards to the End buildup.. Im wondering if maybe some fancy snare-banging could get that going.. Like in All Right Now By Free
Ps; can anyone tell that i like Free?
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Post by newey on Aug 24, 2010 18:55:57 GMT -5
Yeah, I noticed!
Not a bad thing to like, either, IMHO. Paul Rodgers before the pretentious Bad Company days . . .
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Post by Yew on Aug 25, 2010 13:33:58 GMT -5
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Post by Yew on Aug 25, 2010 13:39:24 GMT -5
Sorry about the incrrase i nlevels for the re-recorded bit,
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?
hopefully i can work out a bridge too 
